Remember that Marshmallow Test?

The Marshmallow Test is a simple one. Have something desirable right below your nose, say a marshmallow placed before you for 20minutes, tempting you to eat it. You can just pop it into your mouth. No one is stopping you. But then you forgo getting another marshmallow 20 minutes later.

Would you choose to eat one marshmallow now or wait to eat two marshmallows?

The wait is usually painful, especially if you love marshmallows. But you get 2 instead of 1.

Let’s raise the stakes of this play.

You have a bank account with some savings, and you are itching to spend it. You can use it now and get that pair of sneakers or 3-day travel you are dying to have OR be disciplined and use only what you have already allocated to yourself for daily expenses.

The mantra you tell yourself, “Those savings shall be spent for XXXX in XXXX time in the future, and then you can get A & B instead of just A. “

BORING. The latter option is BORING. It is PAINFUL too, when you are putting in the reps, day by day, and you just want to break that monotony and routine. In pursuing your goals, which you were so eager about when freshly started, you now feel restless and uncertain. You even find distractions to distract yourself from your goals.

That’s the marshmallow test, and that’s the mind game you play.

Why am I bringing this up now? Because I feel the pain of putting in the reps to fulfill those goals and just have the urge to be reckless. Aha!

But the pain is real. The pain from being reckless was not a good experience. And so, after gaining perspective, we learned. As we eye that extra marshmallow waiting for us at the finishing line, we take breaks, adjust our mental states and choose to trod on.

First Panic Attack of 2021

I had an unexpected panic attack this morning which lasted about 4 hours. Perhaps it was due to my kitten’s unexpected vomit early this morning (she probably overate or ate too fast!), an unexpected reliving of a past experience, work matters, or a combination of all or any of those.

I can’t even remember when my last panic attack was. Probably more than a year ago.

Regardless, I am thankful for how far I have come and something awesome happened at work today, we are getting leads from our marketing! Yippee!


If you have been following this blog, you would have noticed tweaks and changes. “Metasparks” seems just about right. We are getting closer. Culture, history, new stuff, ideas, stories, here and there. Let’s see where this takes us!

Stick around ~

Camel Sense

gm world!

I started my day by checking VeeFriends Discord and decided to participate in the Black Friday giveaway. I was to choose a favorite VeeFriend. I chose the Caring Camel *cute camel*!

This is my tweet:

Crazily, it took me 40minutes to write?! I unexpectedly found myself feeling vulnerable and anxious. I believe it was due to sharing an authentic part of me as well as, reliving a memory, an experience which I thought doesn’t bother me any longer.

I still feel a little uncomfortable now, physically, while typing this. Wow. I do think it is cathartic and I look forward to reclaiming more of my experiences and self.

Since we are on camels, I used to have my online username as “camel_sense”. I think I even had a deleted blog entitled that. It was in Xinjiang that I had the chance to go on a camel ride. It was amazing. Camels, animals, understand a lot more than we think. They can sense and interact with the emotional landscape.

Kids get teased a lot and honestly, my experience was not the worst, compared to say what we hear and see of other kids getting teased and bullied. I did take things very hard and personally. It was much later in life I learned about setting boundaries and not taking everyone’s opinions and thoughts to heart.

Got to rush off for my work now. Have a good day everyday 🙂